Great one-liners
1. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. 2. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 3. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke. 5. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but … See more 21. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. 22. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. 23. Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that … See more 41. The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense. 42. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes. 43. … See more 81. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without a tres. 82. Fighting for peaceis like screwing for virginity. 83. A ghost walked into a … See more 61. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. 62. The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP. 63. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. 64. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’ 65. … See more WebNov 5, 2024 · Funny one-liners 1. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession. 2. What did one DNA say to the other …
Great one-liners
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WebApr 11, 2024 · The 6 best Succession season 4 episode 3 one-liners, ranked. 6. Gregging. One of the many great reasons to catch Succession on HBO Max is the dynamic between Tom and Greg. With things escalating ... WebHere are 101 of my favorite humorous one liners for you to use in your speeches or in your everyday conversations. Practise delivering them with sharpness and confidence. 1. Expecting life to treat you fairly because you’re a good person is much like expecting a bull not to charge you because you’re a vegetarian. 2.
WebAug 29, 2024 · The perfect one-liner is a holy grail for comedians – their chance for immortality. Nobody will memorise your lovingly crafted half hour routine fifty years from … WebMar 19, 2024 · Clint Eastwood, aka “Dirty Harry,” utters this one-liner with characteristic grit. He’s in a fire fight with the slowest, most uncoordinated crooks ever. One of them grabs a hostage. Eastwood...
WebJul 29, 2024 · Here are 105 guaranteed to get a quick laugh: What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. “I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a ... WebFunny One Liners. When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural …
WebJun 29, 2024 · Here are 110 of the best jokes and one-liners of all time, compiled from our own selection of round-ups, and taken from the mouths of comedy legends past and …
WebPositive One-Liner Quotes “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” Aristotle Onassis “Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” Rabindranath Tagore “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” Ralph Waldo Emerson freight canberra to melbourneWebFeb 17, 2024 · These one-liners, puns, and funny jokes for kids are appropriate for any time of day, month, or year! We're sure that Ree Drummond's husband Ladd appreciates a cheesy dad joke—he loves a … fast cache cleanerWebOne liner tags: attitude, mistake, people, political 81.40 % / 624 votes. The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day. One liner tags: political, sarcastic, work 81.27 % / 432 votes. On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight? freight cairns to uk